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Writer's pictureCornelia Moore

CORONA DIARIES PART 4 - THE RIGHT TO LOVE - ESCAPING FROM THE SHADOWLAND OF RACISM

Updated: Apr 21



BAM!


These are pivotal times.


The global pandemic has, among other things, exposed the reality of systemic racism…it’s right in our faces.


Like so many others, shocked, triggered, and beyond-words saddened by the images of George Floyd’s murder, Reggie and I have been reflecting on both our individual and shared experiences with systemic racism. Revisiting countless memories, we roller-coasted, once again, through layers of unfathomable grief, apprehension and fear, anger and Ohnmacht. Crying tears of agony one moment, then smiling tears of relief the next.


We held each other in silence.


And in love.


These are pivotal and healing times.


As we find ourselves resonating with both the layers of collective developmental trauma and the repressive, collective coping strategies manifesting in the society we live in today, we understand on an even deeper level than before how these layers of collective trauma and coping strategies have also been permeating and blueprinting our own life’s journeys – and our joint journey as an interethnic couple. (See also my post #ALLSHADESOFHUMAN.)



"People who make music together cannot be enemies, at least while the music lasts."



Both being musical artists, Reggie and I have perfected the Art of LISTENING –

it is ESSENTIAL to our work. When immersing ourselves in the music and lyrics of a fellow artist, we are experiencing that artist’s truth. Through the kinesthetic act of listening, her or his reality – both experienced and perceived – becomes tangible to us. The transference of this truth is often immediate, and its impact oftentimes creates a strong, sympathetic resonance in us.


From one transient human being to another…

From sense memory to sense memory…

From soul to soul.


Once you have FELT another human’s TRUTH, this experience affects you on a deep level. The odds of dismissing, discrediting or disrespecting “the other” are stacked higher with every insight we gain, and the portal to mutual understanding and a shift in our perception of reality opens wide. Ultimately, our capacity to empathize with each other helps us overcome, helps us grow.


Our audacity to LOVE.


On our individual and joint journeys as an African-Filipino-American musician and a German singer-musician with Jewish-Prussian ancestry, Reggie and I have understood both cognitively and kinesthetically, how structures born of traumatic experiences, passed down from generation to generation and hardened over time, manifest themselves in the very behaviorisms we have been working so vehemently to overcome.


We are all trying our best to survive.


But in the process, victims sometimes become predators themselves, justifying their cruelty with both, the gravity of the pain inflicted upon them, and the massive guilt of their predators. This invariant, often entirely unconscious behavior has wreaked havoc in both our German and American families.


And this invariant vibe is also woven into the fabric of so many artist personas, of promoters, critics, club owners and listeners, oftentimes interfering with perceiving the truth of a work of art - and of the artist who is expressing this truth.


Let it suffice to say, that both our professional as well as our private lives have been severely affected by the reality of racism. Over the years, both of us have found it exceedingly difficult to reconcile the actions of many of our peers and elders with the realities of the world we live in. Moreover, people’s misconceptions of who and what we truly are, and their projected emotions, deprecation and overt, sometimes violent attacks often evoked re-traumatization.


Fear was lurking right under the surface.


Throughout our 36 years together, Reggie and I have been dealing with this reality in the best way we could. In the face of fear, guilt, ignorance and oblivion, of denial, resentment, hatefulness and aggression - and in the face of our own demons - we were often challenged to keep an open mind and heart.


We have come to know that in order to heal and evolve it is essential to connect with each other’s humanness – even the humanness of those who have hurt us beyond words. For only when we are willing to listen to each other’s truth, can we transcend this seemingly eternal spiral of guilt and revenge – of pain received and pain transferred.




These ARE pivotal and healing times.


As Arundathi Roy so beautifully expresses: “Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day I can hear her breathing.”


The interconnectedness of all transient human beings is the LOST PARADIGM.


NOW is the time to acknowledge and reclaim this LOST PARADIGM.


For us, for as long as we can remember, the universal language of music has been a portal to truth. By sharing our story from an artist’s viewpoint Reggie and I wish to contribute to the unfolding of a world beyond racism and divisiveness - a world unfolding from LOVE.

Peace&Love&Light&Perseverance

from us to you.

Cornelia “Seachild” & Reggie Moore

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